


Inoculation

by HeartlessMemo



Series: Soft Nandermo Hours (Stand-Alone Fics) [7]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Bats, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Medical Procedures, Nandor as a dog, Needles, Post Episode: s01e5 Animal Control, Rabies, post Animal Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28623549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartlessMemo/pseuds/HeartlessMemo
Summary: “Guillermo?” Nandor asks in a small voice. He strokes his hand up and down the soft curve of the human’s arm.“Yes, master?”“Are you sure that the goblins in your blood will not be hurting you?”Guillermo lets out a long sigh before replying, “Immunoglobulin, master. Remember? The doctor explained that it would protect me from infection until the vaccine kicks in?”---Guillermo actually gets bitten by the bat at the Animal Shelter and has to be treated for rabies exposure. Pure crack/fluff.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Series: Soft Nandermo Hours (Stand-Alone Fics) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881676
Comments: 15
Kudos: 54





	Inoculation

**Author's Note:**

> In the wake of finishing my novel-length dark fic, I have officially lost my mind.
> 
> Please enjoy.
> 
> Thanks to C for goading me.

Guillermo cups his hand over the large square of white gauze covering one side of his neck, moaning pitifully.

“Hey, is he alright? He’s not gonna blow chunks in the back of my cab is he?”

Nandor hisses at the impertinent hackney driver, waving his fingers in his direction and speaking in a low drawl, “You will not notice Guillermo’s pathetic mewling.”

“Hey, you know what?! I don’t even notice any pathetic mewling in this taxi cab! Neat!”

“ _Master_ ,” Guillermo moans in agony as the cab cuts around a corner, jarring him against the vehicle’s door. 

“Hey! Watch it! Can’t you see my familiar is in pain?!” Nandor cries, forgetting that he hypnotized the cabby to ignore Guillermo only seconds before. 

His miserable familiar crawls over the seat towards Nandor, nestling into his side. Nandor bares his fangs in a grimace of discomfort but he makes no move to shove him away as he normally would. At least they’d ditched the camera crew after leaving the animal prison.

“I do not see why you insisted on going to the healing clinic if they were only going to make you feel worse than before!” Nandor gripes irritably, but he lets his arm settle across Guillermo’s broad back and the human coos in response to the comforting touch.

“I told you,” Guillermo murmurs without lifting his head from Nandor’s chest. “That bat bit me and it was being treated for rabies! I had to get vaccinated.”

“But you are feeling worse than before! Look at you!” Nandor pokes the bandage, eliciting a howl from Guillermo who flies back away from him in outrage. 

“Ouch, that hurt!” he complains. 

Nandor cringes and a sudden, annoying surge of guilt flashes through his chest. “Oops. Apologies, Guillermo. I was forgetting about your weak human flesh. If you come back over here I promise not to poke at you. Not that I am wanting you to keep snuggling against me. It is only that this coachman is wild and unpredictable and I do not wish for you to be hurting yourself if he takes another sharp turn. Would be very inconvenient to be going straight back to the healer.”

Guillermo will never suspect that Nandor secretly wants to feel his soft lumps pressed up against him again…

Guillermo rolls his eyes, but slides back over to Nandor and settles himself under his outstretched arm. Nandor tucks his cape around the human and clutches him firmly. He is reliving the sight of poor Guillermo in the medical office. Nandor had insisted on accompanying him and it was a good thing, too, because who else was going to hold Guillermo’s hand while the healer stuck that scary, long needle into his neck? The healer insisted on injecting goblins into Guillermo’s blood in order to cleanse the bite wound! _Fucking girl…_

“Guillermo?” Nandor asks in a small voice. He strokes his hand up and down the soft curve of the human’s arm.

“Yes, master?”

“Are you sure that the goblins in your blood will not be hurting you?”

Guillermo lets out a long sigh before replying, “Immunoglobulin, master. Remember? The doctor explained that it would protect me from infection until the vaccine kicks in?”

Nandor frowns, unconvinced. “But don’t _you_ remember that the healer said the goblins would put anti-bodies into your blood? That doesn’t sound very safe, Guillermo. You should have let me take you to Nadja’s friend in the forest.”

“The necromancer? I’m not _dead_ , master.” 

“Yes, but what if—”

“And we’re here. That’ll be $14.30.”

A beat of silence passes before Nandor clicks the door handle and turns to Guillermo with an officious air. “Guillermo, pay this man.”

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Guillermo settles into his pathetic cot with a sad sigh. He’s exhausted and in pain. The injections to his neck hurt worse than the bite itself and his arm is starting to ache from the inoculation. He knows it’s for his own good, but _damn_. After a night of biking all over Staten Island trying to find the correct shelter, being attacked by a possibly rabid bat and facing Nandor’s apparent apathy… he just wanted to sleep for a couple of days. Or maybe cry. Maybe both. 

He pops a couple Tylenol and guzzles them down with some water. By now his body is used to the stiff cot and thin pillow. He sinks back, taking off his glasses and setting them on the little bedside table. He’s about to drift to sleep when a high-pitched whine abruptly stirs him back to wakefulness. _God damn it._ Nandor had promised he’d put himself to coffin tonight…

But when Guillermo opens his eyes he doesn’t see his master. Or at least, not how he’s used to seeing him. A large, shaggy German Shepherd Dog stands next to the bed. His mouth hangs open in a doggy grin, a thin line of drool pouring out onto Guillermo’s blanket. When he notices Guillermo looking at him he gives a happy snap of his jaws and wags his tail. 

“...Master?”

_Woof!_

“Jesus Chr—” Guillermo cuts himself off at a low growl from doggy Nandor. He rolls his eyes and tries again. “Sorry, master. What are you doing?”

In answer Nandor climbs up onto the cot, spinning in a few tight circles before curling up in a furry ball next to him. The dog— his master— lets out a soft little sigh, his chocolate brown eyes gazing up at Guillermo with that sad look that all dogs have when they look up.

“Aww, master!” Guillermo can’t help but gush, stroking his fingers through Nandor’s fur. “Did you come to cuddle me because I don’t feel good?” For some reason it’s easier to be bold with his master when he’s in this form.

Nandor lets out another high-pitched whine that could mean yes or no or “Silence, Guillermo!” Either way, he rests his furry chin on Guillermo’s belly and shuts his eyes. Guillermo drifts off to sleep with a smile on his lips.


End file.
